Life: The Right Way - PilotThe Right Roommate
by LewisJefferies
Summary: Meet Adam Martin, Luke Jason and Lauren Dior. Three friends who become close friends. But how close? Luke decides to move in with Adam, which then causes confusion and mayhem. Join the three of them in this brand new sitcom created by myself.
**LIFE: THE RIGHT WAY**

 **SERIES ONE**

 **EPISODE ONE**

 **"** **PILOT/THE RIGHT ROOMMATE"**

WHITE SCRIPT

by

LEWIS JEFFERIES

( C ) LEWIS JEFFERIES 2016

02 MARCH 2016

FADES TO:

 **1.** **INT: ADAM'S FLAT - NIGHT**

ADAM is sat on the sofa with a bowl of popcorn and about to watch a film on television.

ADAM MARTIN  
Alright. Film Friday. Truly the best day of the week.

TV CONTINUITY ANNOUNCER  
Now it's time for Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone.

ADAM MARTIN  
This week could not get any better.

ADAM grabs a Harry Potter Gryffindor scarf from underneath the coffee table.

ADAM puts the scarf on.

ADAM MARTIN (Continued)  
Okay. Let's do this.

There's a knock at the door.

ADAM turns to look at the door.

ADAM turns back around again to face the television.

ADAM MARTIN  
Kids today baffle me.

There's another knock at the door.

ADAM turns around again at points his finger at the door like he is telling a child off.

ADAM MARTIN  
Once more an I'm telling your parents!

ADAM faces the television again.

There's another knock at the door.

ADAM MARTIN  
Right that's it! One does not interrupt Film Friday!

ADAM gets up and finds an A4 notepad and pen.

ADAM writes a note on the piece of paper.

ADAM walks towards the door.

ADAM kneels down and posts the note underneath the door.

CUTS TO:

LUKE is stood at the door and kneels down to pick up the note.

The note reads: "Piss off. It's Film Friday."

LUKE JASON  
Adam just open the door!

ADAM MARTIN  
Oh hey Luke! I didn't hear you knock.

LUKE JASON  
Sure!

LUKE hands ADAM the note back.

LUKE JASON (Continued)  
Wanna come for a drink?

ADAM MARTIN  
But it's Film Friday. Rule number eight in this flat, Luke. One must watch a film on a Friday. I can't go against it and you know it.

LUKE JASON  
Come on! I met this cute girl at work and I told her all about you and she wants to meet you.

ADAM stares awkwardly at LUKE for five seconds.

ADAM MARTIN  
Let's go.

ADAM closes the door and walks away.

LUKE turns around.

LUKE JASON  
You're seriously going out like that?

LUKE slowly follows ADAM with embarrassment.

CUTS TO:

 **OPENING TITLES**

FADES TO:

 **2.** **EXT: OUTSIDE THE BAR CALLED BUCK AND EAR – NIGHT**

ADAM and LUKE are waiting outside the pub.

LUKE JASON  
I told Lauren to meet us outside here at nine.

ADAM looks at his watch.

ADAM MARTIN  
But it's nine o one now. She's late. We may as well go. Harry Potter has started without me.

ADAM begins to walk away.

LUKE JASON  
Get back here, Adam! Just be patient.

A twenty-two-year-old girl approaches LUKE.

LAUREN DIOR  
Hey Luke. You must be Adam?

ADAM MARTIN  
Hello, I'm Adam.

LAUREN DIOR  
I know. I just said your name.

ADAM MARTIN  
You didn't say my name. You presumed that my name was Adam. For all you know I could be a spy for the Royal Family.

LAUREN DIOR  
Are you though?

ADAM MARTIN  
I can't tell you that. Then I wouldn't be a spy. What spy gives away their identity? Don't ever become a spy will you?

LUKE JASON  
Let's just go inside. It's freezing out here.

The three of them walk into the bar.

ADAM MARTIN  
A spy wouldn't admit he's freezing either.

LUKE JASON  
You're not a spy. You're a crazy person with a Gryffindor scarf.

CUTS TO:

 **3.** **INT: THE BUCK AND EAR – NIGHT**

ADAM, LUKE and LAUREN are all sat around a table in the Buck and Ear.

All of them are drinking Cider.

LAUREN DIOR  
So Adam.

ADAM MARTIN  
Still assuming my name is Adam then?

LAUREN DIOR  
I know your name is Adam.

ADAM MARTIN  
It was a rhetorical question. I didn't need an answer.

LUKE stares at ADAM frustratingly.

ADAM MARTIN  
Don't look at me with that tone of language.

LUKE JASON  
Then let her finish!

ADAM MARTIN  
Alright. Go ahead.

LAUREN DIOR  
So Adam, tell me about yourself.

ADAM MARTIN  
Assuming that was a statement and not a rhetorical question. I'm adorable and no one can live without me. I work in a little corner shop as a customer assistant. People love me in there. I live alone in a flat with plenty of video games, and I'm a major Harry Potter Fan.

LAUREN DIOR  
Busy life then.

ADAM MARTIN  
Not exactly. Pretty dull. I'm still awaiting my letter to Hogwarts. I applied ages ago.

LUKE JASON  
Like that's ever going to happen.

LAUREN DIOR  
You applied for Hogwarts?

LUKE JASON  
He found a website online and filled a form out.

ADAM MARTIN  
Excuse me! You never know. I Tweeted J.K Rowling and she said it's on the way. I just have to be patient and wait.

LUKE JASON  
I didn't see this Tweet.

ADAM MARTIN  
I blocked you on Twitter.

LAUREN DIOR  
What did you do that for?

ADAM MARTIN  
He constantly spammed me. So I've been the bigger man and put a stop to it.

LUKE shakes his head.

LUKE JASON  
I'll be back in a second.

LUKE gets up and leaves the table.

ADAM MARTIN  
It's been a second. Get your ass back here!

LUKE turns around and makes a 'T' shape with his fingers and smiles.

ADAM MARTIN (Continued)  
That was just rude.

LAUREN DIOR  
What?

ADAM MARTIN  
He made a T shape with his fingers.

LAUREN DIOR  
So? That means timeout doesn't it?

ADAM MARTIN  
You really need to get to know me. It's mine and Luke's way of calling someone a tosser.

LAUREN looks confused.

LAUREN DIOR  
Right…

ADAM and LAUREN sit there awkwardly.

Long pause.

LAUREN DIOR  
What do you really think of Luke? He's cute right?

ADAM MARTIN  
Interesting you're asking me. Why are you asking me? Are you assuming something again? If you are then you should know what's coming!

LAUREN DIOR  
Wh- What is coming?

ADAM makes a T shape with his fingers.

LAUREN grabs one of ADAM'S fingers and gets ADAM to poke himself in the eye.

ADAM MARTIN  
You're mean!

LAUREN DIOR  
It was a simple question. I wasn't assuming that you were gay.

ADAM runs to the bathroom and brushes past LUKE on the way.

LUKE stands by the table looking confused.

LUKE JASON  
What's wrong with him?

LUKE sits down.

LAUREN DIOR  
Boy trouble. So, how old is he?

LUKE JASON  
He's twenty-five. Wouldn't believe that, would you?

LAUREN DIOR  
Wow. Twenty-five. What age is he mentally?

LUKE JASON  
Like seven. He's just mad and always has been.

LAUREN DIOR  
There's probably one way to make him normal.

LUKE JASON  
That's never gonna happen, come on Lauren, admit it!

LAUREN DIOR  
He just needs a roommate. It might sort him out a bit more. Assuming he has a two-bedroom flat?

LUKE JASON  
Err. Yes, I think. I tend to avoid his flat as much as possible.

LAUREN DIOR  
Why?

LUKE JASON  
You just saw him! He's crazy. He pretended to be a spy for god's sake.

LAUREN DIOR  
One day he'll become a spy and we'll both look embarrassed.

LAUREN and LUKE both laugh.

LAUREN DIOR  
Seriously though. I think you should leave your flat and move in with him. It'll do him good.

LUKE JASON  
Would it work though? The amount of work I take home with me. That's a lot of paperwork. For all I know, Adam will fold them up and hold a paper airplane competition in the park with my documents.

LAUREN DIOR  
Shush. He's coming back. Just ask him.

ADAM stand by the table and hold up a piece of paper to LAUREN. The piece of paper has a T on it.

LUKE JASON  
See what I mean?

LAUREN rolls her eyes at LUKE.

LAUREN DIOR  
Adam sit down.

ADAM sits down.

LAUREN DIOR (Continued)  
Luke has something to say. Luke…

LUKE JASON  
Adam, how would you feel if I moved in with you?

ADAM MARTIN  
In my flat?

LUKE JASON  
Yes.

ADAM MARTIN  
With me?

LUKE JASON  
Yes.

ADAM MARTIN  
Us two in the same flat together? Roommates?

LUKE JASON  
Yes!

ADAM MARTIN  
That could work. There would be rules though!

LUKE picks up the piece of paper with the T on it and holds it up to ADAM.

LUKE JASON  
Seriously?

LUKE puts the piece of paper down.

ADAM MARTIN  
Yes seriously. What if you drink all the milk and then there's none left for me? What if you take over the entire fridge with your food? What if you break something and hide the pieces somewhere I won't find them? I could sit here all night.

LUKE JASON  
Get why I didn't want to now, Lauren?

LAUREN DIOR  
No wait, Luke. Hear him out.

ADAM MARTIN  
If there's rules, everything will run smoothly. I'll be gone soon. J.K Rowling just Tweeted me again saying my letter to Hogwarts will be here in three working days. How exciting!

LUKE face palms the table.

LUKE is getting frustrated.

LUKE JASON  
Are we going to be roommates or not?

ADAM MARTIN  
Of course we are! First thing tomorrow!

LAUREN DIOR  
See! Everything will be fine.

ADAM MARTIN  
I have to get going. There's time to watch Harry Potter on catch up before Film Friday is over. I'll see you tomorrow, Roomie. You too, Luke.

LUKE angrily stares at ADAM.

ADAM MARTIN (Continued)  
I'm kidding! Or am I? A spy wouldn't say.

LUKE quickly gets up and chases ADAM out of the Buck and Ear.

LAUREN is sat at the table and finishes her cider.

LAUREN DIOR  
I guess I'm walking myself home. Typical boys.

FADES TO:

 **4.** **INT: ADAM'S FLAT – DAY**

ADAM is stood in front of the television holding a clipboard and a pen.

LUKE is sat on the sofa looking bored.

ADAM MARTIN  
Now, let's get these rules sorted. If you have a question, raise your hand. If you don't get any questions, then I suggest you remain silent.

LUKE JASON  
Got it.

ADAM MARTIN  
This piece of paper is your handout for the session. Rule number one. Television time is between twelve pm and three pm. Then again between seven pm and eleven pm. If you break this rule, the remotes will be taken away from you and put somewhere you don't want to know. Sign here please.

LUKE JASON  
I have to sign each rule? I know I work at a school. But I'm the teacher not the student.

ADAM MARTIN  
Hey! Pipe down! Just sign it.

LUKE JASON  
Why don't I just sign each rule as I read it myself? It'll save so much time and the guys are here in the lorry with my stuff to bring into the flat.

ADAM MARTIN  
A lorry? How much are you bringing?

LUKE JASON  
Just a few things. Sofa, my bed and stuff like that.

ADAM MARTIN  
But we have a sofa. I like this sofa.

LUKE JASON  
This sofa is destroyed! Have you seen it?

ADAM MARTIN  
It's perfectly fine.

LUKE JASON  
It has a rip in it and a giant stain on it. It's going, Adam. Whether you like it or not.

ADAM MARTIN  
Fine. But I call dibs on sitting on it first in this flat.

LUKE JASON  
It's my sofa.

ADAM MARTIN  
This is my flat. Rule number three. Whoever calls dibs on something first wins. If the roommate protests, then they have to put £5 in the penalty pot.

LUKE JASON  
Fine.

ADAM MARTIN  
Fine.

LUKE JASON  
Fine.

ADAM MARTIN  
Fine.

LUKE JASON  
Fine.

ADAM MARTIN  
Fine. I can do this all day.

LUKE JASON  
Ha! You lose!

ADAM wheels over a white board in front of the television with a big version of the letter T written on it.

ADAM MARTIN  
We should get downstairs. The lorry is waiting for us.

LUKE JASON  
I just said that!

ADAM MARTIN  
Now I said it. Rule ten, Luke. It clearly says that Adam Martin is always right because he is the smartest.

ADAM leaves the flat.

A big crash is heard in the corridor.

LUKE smiles.

LUKE JASON  
Rule ten no longer exists.

VOICE OF ADAM MARTIN  
I heard that!

LUKE smiles to himself and leaves the flat.

FADES TO:

 **5.** **EXT: THE BLOCK OF FLATS DRIVEWAY – DAY**

A lorry is reversed in the driveway.

ADAM walks out of the main doors followed by LUKE.

ADAM MARTIN  
Smell that fresh air. Such a shame it gets polluted every day.

LUKE JASON  
What? Since when did you care about the environment and pollution?

ADAM MARTIN  
About ten seconds ago.

LUKE JASON  
Explain to me why I agreed to this?

ADAM MARTIN  
Well-

LUKE JASON  
It was a rhetorical question. You should've known that.

ADAM walks towards the lorry.

ADAM MARTIN  
Where's your so called lorry drivers then? Driving another lorry by any chance?

LUKE JASON  
I don't know. They should be here with their lorry. You're not allowed to leave it unattended.

ADAM walks round to the driver's door.

ADAM MARTIN  
Hey they left us a note. Gone for lunch, you bastards took too long arguing over roommate rules. Yes, we heard you. Even the stupid guy falling down the stairs. Bunch of muppets. I am not a muppet! Do I look like a frog?

LUKE JASON  
Is that a rhetorical question?

ADAM MARTIN  
Was that?

LUKE JASON  
Let's just unload the lorry and take it upstairs.

ADAM walks back round to LUKE.

ADAM MARTIN  
Alright. You got the key to unlock the door?

LUKE JASON  
Yes! Let me get it out of my pocket!

ADAM MARTIN  
Oh goodie! Knew you wouldn't let me down.

LUKE JASON  
That was sarcasm, you idiot.

ADAM looks shocked.

ADAM MARTIN  
Hey!

LUKE JASON  
What do you say we do then? Come one chief roommate. Let's hear what you have to say.

ADAM MARTIN  
If I was at Hogwarts, I could use the Alohomora spell to unlock it. But I haven't brought my wand yet. I must do that.

LUKE JASON  
That doesn't help.

ADAM MARTIN  
We'll have to break in.

LUKE JASON  
We can't do that. It's against the law.

ADAM picks up a stone.

ADAM MARTN  
Do I look like I care?

ADAM throws the stone at the lorry.

The stone rebounds and hits ADAM on the head.

ADAM falls to the floor.

ADAM MARTIN  
Oh good lord. That hurt.

LUKE JASON  
Smart move!

ADAM gets up.

ADAM MARTIN  
Don't be sarcastic.

LUKE JASON  
Don't be such a dick then.

ADAM MARTIN  
Look. They're back now.

LORRY DRIVER 1  
You guys the owner of this stuff?

LUKE JASON  
Yes I am.

ADAM turns to LUKE.

ADAM MARTIN  
Excuse me. I'm chief roommate. I decide.

ADAM turns to LORRY DRIVER 1.

ADAM MARTIN (Continued)  
Yes this is our stuff.

LORRY DRIVER 1  
You do know it was open right? You could have unloaded it by now. I could be at home watching a film by now.

ADAM MARTIN  
That seems highly unlikely. I doubt your shift has finished. Plus you'd have to drop the lorry back at the depot. Then you'd have to drive home. Then you'd watch a film. That would take a few hours. Also it's Saturday.

LORRY DRIVER 1  
So?

ADAM MARTIN  
Films are for Film Friday.

LORRY DRIVER 1  
Oh shut it.

ADAM MARTIN  
Hey!

ADAM makes the T shape with his fingers and directs it at LORRY DRIVER 1.

LUKE JASON  
We haven't got time for this, Adam. Let's just get this upstairs.

LORRY DRIVER 2  
Do you guys need a hand taking the boxes and furniture upstairs?

ADAM MARTIN  
Seeing as we're muppets according to you, I think we might. Muppets aren't very strong.

LUKE JASON  
Adam!

LORRY DRIVER 2 puts the last box on the ground and jumps off the lorry.

ADAM MARTIN  
Come on Luke, let's take this upstairs and leave Kermit and Miss Piggy to it.

ADAM picks up a few boxes and takes them inside.

LORRY DRIVER 1 walks towards LUKE.

LORRY DRIVER 1  
Hit him for me, won't you?

LUKE JASON  
He's likely to injure himself anyway. Thanks for delivering the boxes. I'll give you a hand with the sofa and bed.

FADES TO:

 **6.** **INT: ADAM'S FLAT BLOCK LOBBY – DAY**

The lobby is filled with boxes, a bed and a sofa.

ADAM is sat on the sofa.

LUKE is stood in front of ADAM with his arms crossed.

ADAM MARTIN  
Alright. How are we doing this?

LUKE JASON  
The boxes can go in the lift and we can carry the furniture up the stairs.

ADAM MARTIN  
You read my mind. I'll go in the lift with the boxes.

LUKE JASON  
No, the boxes will be done last. Help me pick the sofa up.

ADAM MARTIN  
Fine.

ADAM and LUKE pick up the sofa.

ADAM MARTIN  
Why do you have a three seater sofa? You lived alone for crying out loud.

LUKE JASON  
Shut up and walk. I'll go up the stairs backwards as you're a liability and will just fa-

LUKE falls backwards up the stairs.

ADAM MARTIN  
Who's the liability now? Come on get up. Work to do! Plus, it's nearly time for Sing Star Saturday. You don't want to miss that. Hey we should invite Lauren.

LUKE gets up.

LUKE JASON  
God's sake.

ADAM MARTIN  
Don't blame God. He hasn't done anything wrong.

LUKE JASON  
Oh don't start.

ADAM and LUKE walk up the stairs.

FADES TO:

 **7.** **INT: ADAM'S FLAT – DAY**

ADAM'S flat now has two sofas in in the living room.

ADAM MARTIN  
Weren't we better off removing the old sofa first?

LUKE JASON  
Would've been easier.

ADAM MARTIN  
Shotgun not moving it. This is your mess. You can move it.

LUKE JASON  
Well that's easy. It's on wheels.

ADAM MARTIN  
Damn! What are you going to do with it?

LUKE JASON  
Roll it down the stairs and use it like a snow sledge as I go down the stairs. Then I'll take it out to the skip like a responsible adult I am.

ADAM MARTIN  
Oh yeah sure. I'm the responsible adult here. Go on. Take your sledge and go down the stairs.

LUKE JASON  
Alright. I will!

LUKE wheels the sofa out of the flat and into the corridor.

ADAM stands awkwardly in the flat.

Long pause.

ADAM MARTIN  
None of these boxes are mine… I can't start Sing Star Saturday yet… Hang on Luke, I'm coming too!

VOICE OF LUKE JASON  
So much for being a responsible adult.

VOICE OF ADAM MARTIN  
It's my sofa. Back off! I call dibs on front seat.

FADES TO:

 **8.** **INT: ADAM'S FLAT – NIGHT**

ADAM and LUKE'S flat is spotless and cleaned from top to bottom.

ADAM and LUKE are stood in the kitchen looking at the clean flat.

LUKE JASON  
This place looks pretty decent now.

ADAM MARTIN  
It was decent anyway. How dare you compare it from before and after. This is not Blue Peter. Oh look here's one I made earlier. Pathetic!

LUKE JASON  
Calm down, Adam. It was a joke. I've invited Lauren over for your Sing Star Saturday. Hope you don't mind?

ADAM MARTIN  
Of course I don't. As long as she bring alcohol. Rule one to Sing Star Saturday. Always get drunk in the process. Assuming she's staying the night?

LUKE JASON  
Well she can't go home drunk.

ADAM MARTIN  
Well she could. She might end up with a broken leg or something. But it won't be anything serious.

There's four knocks at the door.

ADAM MARTN  
Spooky.

LUKE walks towards the door.

LUKE JASON  
What's spooky?

ADAM MARTIN  
He will knock four times.

LUKE JASON  
I don't understand.

LUKE opens the door.

ADAM mutters to himself.

ADAM MARTIN  
You never will.

CUTS TO:

LAUREN DIOR  
Hey! I got wine for this evening.

LUKE JASON  
Nice. Careful of Adam. He's acting strange tonight.

LAUREN DIOR  
He acts strange anyway. Did you not see him last night?

LUKE JASON  
I'll give you that. Come in, make yourself at home.

LAUREN DIOR  
Thank you. Hey Adam. Got some wine for you.

ADAM MARTIN  
How sweet of you. Do you have two hearts?

LUKE JASON  
Told you.

LAUREN DIOR  
No I don't. Why?

ADAM MARTIN  
You knocked four times… He will knock four times… Oh forget it.

LAUREN looks at LUKE.

LUKE shrugs his shoulders.

LAUREN DIOR  
This place looks pretty nice. Perfect for the two of you. I told you it was a good idea moving in together.

ADAM MARTIN  
Luke, I need to drain my bladder out. Pour the wine and set up Sing Star on the Xbox. You and Lauren are doing the first duet.

ADAM walks into the bathroom.

LUKE goes to the kitchen and gets three wine glasses out of the cupboard.

LUKE pops the cork in the wine.

LUKE JASON  
He's acting really strange this evening.

LAUREN walks into the kitchen.

LAUREN DIOR  
Maybe it's because he has a roommate now and needs to impress his him and show he's responsible enough.

LUKE JASON  
Responsible?

LUKE hands a glass of wine to LAUREN.

LUKE JASON (Continued)  
We both slid down the stairs on a sofa. Neither of us are responsible.

LAUREN DIOR  
That's adorable. Being an adult doesn't mean being grown up all the time.

LUKE moves closer to LAUREN.

LAUREN moves closer to LUKE.

LAUREN and LUKE both kiss.

ADAM exits the bathroom and walks into the kitchen.

ADAM breaks up the kissing.

ADAM MARTIN  
Woah! Woah! Woah! Enough of that. You can have the s word later when you're drunk. You'll unlikely to remember it then. Let's get Sing Star Saturday Started.

ADAM walks into the living room singing.

ADAM MARTIN  
I'm walking on sunshine. Woah. I'm walking on sunshine. Woah.

LAUREN DIOR  
This is going to be one long night.

LUKE JASON  
You better.

CUTS TO:

 **9.** **INT: ADAM'S FLAT - NIGHT**

The three of them are all drunk. An empty wine bottle and multiple cider cans are seen thrown across the coffee table.

LAUREN is singing on Sing Star.

ADAM is dancing in the background like a lunatic to LAUREN'S singing.

LUKE has crashed out on the sofa fast asleep.

LAUREN DIOR  
It's my life. It's now or never. I am gonna live forever. I just wanna live without a life. It's my life.

ADAM jumps towards LAUREN playing an air guitar.

ADAM MARTIN and LAUREN DIOR  
It's my life. It's now or never. I am gonna live forever. I just wanna live without a life. It's my life.

The song finishes.

ADAM and LAUREN cannot stay stood still and are all wobbly.

LAUREN DIOR  
I should be getting home.

LAUREN walks towards the door.

LAUREN stands in front of the door.

LAUREN DIOR (Continued)  
Is this like one of those automatic doors?

ADAM stumbles towards LAUREN.

ADAM MARTIN  
Don't go. Stay the night.

LAUREN DIOR  
Wh- Wh-

LAUREN burps.

LARUEN DIOR (Continued)  
That's better. Where will I sleep?

ADAM MARTIN  
Luke is on the sofa. Sleep in his bed.

LAUREN DIOR  
Woah!

CUTS TO:

 **10.** **INT: ADAM'S BEDROOM – DAY**

The birds are singing in the distance.

The sun is beaming into ADAM'S bedroom.

ADAM wakes up and looks to his right to see LAUREN in bed with him.

ADAM looks shocked.

CUTS TO:

The messy living room and LUKE crashed out on the sofa.

CUTS TO:

VOICE OF ADAM MARTIN  
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

LAUREN quickly wakes up and sits up.

LAUREN DIOR  
Jesus Christ, Adam some of us have a headac-  
Woah! Why're we in bed together?

ADAM MARTIN  
There's a chance we got drunk last night. But I'm not quite sure. You might know.

LAUREN DIOR  
We got drunk you muppet.

There's a knock on ADAM'S bedroom door.

VOICE OF LUKE JASON  
Everything alright, Adam?

ADAM and LAUREN are whispering.

ADAM MARTIN  
You need to hide.

LAUREN DIOR  
Where?

ADAM MARTIN  
Get in the wardrobe? Climb out the window?

LAUREN runs towards the wardrobe and gets in it.

LUKE knocks the door again.

VOICE OF LUKE JASON  
Adam?

ADAM stumbles out of bed and walks towards the door.

ADAM opens the door.

ADAM MARTIN  
Good morning.

LUKE JASON  
Everything okay? You yelled.

ADAM MARTIN  
No I didn't.

LUKE JASON  
You did. I heard you. I think the entire neighbourhood heard you. Where's Lauren?

ADAM MARTIN  
Is she not on the sofa?

LUKE JASON  
No. I was on the sofa

ADAM MARTIN  
Why were you on the sofa? Is she in your room?

LUKE JASON  
I obviously fell asleep on the sofa. No she's not in my room. I checked.

ADAM MARTIN  
She must've gone home then.

LUKE JASON  
Meh.

LUKE turns around and walks away.

LUKE JASON (Continued)  
I'm going for a shower.

ADAM closes his bedroom door.

LAUREN opens the wardrobe door.

LAUREN falls out of the wardrobe.

ADAM MARTIN  
You okay?

LAUREN DIOR  
Yeah. It's cool.

LAUREN gets up.

ADAM MARTIN  
You have to leave.

LAUREN DIOR  
Why?

ADAM MARTIN  
He thinks you've left.

LAUREN DIOR  
Are we playing Big Brother or something?

ADAM MARTIN  
Exactly that! He's in the shower. You leave and I'll keep an eye out for you. Oh my God. I'M A SPY! I TOLD YOU I WAS A SPY

LAUREN DIOR  
You… Are… Mad!

ADAM opens the door.

CUTS TO:

 **11.** **INT: ADAM'S FLAT, ROOM CORRIDOR - DAY**

ADAM exits his room and checks that it's clear to walk through.

ADAM rolls across the floor using his fingers as pretend guns.

ADAM kneels in front of the bathroom door.

ADAM MARTIN  
All clear!

CUTS TO:

 **12.** **INT: ADAM'S FLAT - DAY**

LAUREN exits the bedroom and heads across the living room.

ADAM rolls towards the front door using his fingers as pretend guns still.

LAUREN DIOR  
You're crazy.

CUTS TO:

LAUREN opens the front door.

ADAM MARTIN  
I know. I should go and see a doctor to get checked over. Anyway, Tweet me when you're home.

LAUREN DIOR  
Why?

ADAM MARTIN  
You're hungover. You might injure yourself. Just looking out for you.

LAUREN DIOR  
Okay…

LAUREN turns around and walks away.

ADAM MARTIN  
Safe travels!

ADAM closes the door.

CUTS TO:

LUKE exits the bathroom.

LUKE JASON  
Who was that?

ADAM MARTIN  
Oh. Um. That was someone from upstairs who have… Gone away for a few days. YES! It was someone from upstairs who have gone away for a few days.

LUKE JASON  
You're crazy.

LUKE goes into his bedroom.

ADAM MARTIN  
Why does everyone keep saying that? I'm not crazy.

ADAM gets on the floor and rolls to his bedroom like a spy.

FADES TO:

 **13.** **INT: ADAM'S FLAT – DAY**

ADAM and LUKE are clearing up the living room.

ADAM is collecting the empty cider cans, glasses and wine bottle.

LUKE is putting Sing Star away.

ADAM MARTIN  
We should so do that again some time.

LUKE JASON  
Are you saying you actually enjoyed last night?

ADAM MARTIN  
Why are you so surprised, Luke? Why? Why?

LUKE JASON  
Just curious. Don't get so paranoid.

ADAM MARTIN  
Me paranoid? Never! More like Padamoid. Get it? I mixed paranoid and Adam together.

ADAM walks into the kitchen.

LUKE JASON  
That's ridiculous.

ADAM'S phone buzzes on the table.

LUKE JASON (Continued)  
Adam! Your phone vibrated. You got a Twitter mention.

ADAM comes racing into the room.

ADAM knocks over the kitchen chairs as he sprints in the room.

ADAM dives onto the sofa to collect his phone from the table.

ADAM MARTIN  
So much for not being a spy!

LUKE JASON  
What was all that about?

ADAM MARTIN  
That's none of your business. Rule number two. Don't interfere with your roommate's life if they don't ask you not to.

ADAM unlocks his phone.

ADAM MARTIN (Continued)  
Ah she got home safely.

LUKE JASON  
Who did?

ADAM MARTIN  
Do you listen to what I say? Or is there a little monkey in your mind dancing around?

LUKE JASON  
We-

ADAM MARTIN  
That was a rhetorical question.

LUKE JASON  
You and your rhetorical questions.

LUKE goes to his room.

ADAM is Tweeting back.

ADAM MARTIN  
Glad you got home safely. Sing Star Saturday returns next Saturday. Bring your friends with you and alcohol. We'll recreate S Club 7. #Chuckle. Dammit. Gone over the character count. I hate you Twitter! Errr. You, friends, alcohol come to mine on Saturday. S Club 7 reboot. #Chuckle. Send! That's better.

ADAM walks away.

ADAM MARTIN  
#Chuckle

FADES TO:

 **CLOSING TITLES**


End file.
